Quiet

Lesson 1: The “Extrovert Ideal” and its pitfalls

Cain feels that Western Culture, and especially the American Culture believes that the ideal personality has to be outspoken and comfortable in the spotlight. Not only comfortable, it has to desire a constant spotlight. There is a general tendency in people to hold the man of words in higher regard than the man of contemplation. In contrast, the Asian culture values quietness and patience which lead to the ability to listen intently. A man might not be a good speaker but can still have great ideas in mind and therefore we must not disregard the contributions that introverts are capable of.  

Group work might not be able to create the best environment for an introvert to function, but that is true for most individuals, introverted or not. While speaking in groups, most people fear rejection and thus end up not speaking up their minds. Cain cites research showing that people are more creative and when they enjoy privacy and freedom from this kind of a fear. Introverts are people that spend substantial amounts of time in their heads thinking, and therefore can come up with the best of plans, if given privacy and space. Men of action hardly engage in talking much. Rather, they spend their time in their own heads, forming the best plans of action.

Lesson 2: Defining and distinguishing Introversion

Introverts have been defined differently at different points of time. But in general, they are people who prefer to be quiet and have privacy in large gatherings. They enjoy concentration more than random action; listening more than talking which always gives them an upper hand in any conversation and thinking before they speak. They contemplate the results of each action before they act. On the other hand, extroverts can make their space in groups, can multi-task and draw attention towards them. 

There is an entire spectrum of personalities between the most extroverted and the most introverted people. People who are situated in the middle of the spectrum are called ambiverts. It is important to be able to differentiate between introverts and shy people. While shyness usually indicates a kind of discomfort; Introverts on the other hand, are pretty comfortable people, by themselves. It is also important to not confuse introverts for antisocial people. It is only that extroverts and introverts enjoy socialising differently. A person who is introverted is inwardly oriented and has better access to the inner riches of the mind. A quiet person is able to enjoy their own company because it is then that they are able to concentrate better and therefore are more productive.