The language you use to describe your circumstances determines how you see, experience and participate in them and dramatically affect how you deal with your life and confront problems both big and small.

Negative self-talk can not only put us in a bad mood, it can leave us feeling helpless. It can make small problems seem bigger – and even create problems where none existed before. Here’s the breaking news, your self-talk is fucking you over and in ways you can’t even begin to imagine

The more you tell yourself how hard something is, the harder it will actually seem

If you’re sometimes talking about how ‘unfair’ life is, you’ll start to act according to that view, perceiving slights where none exist or, as studies have shown, putting less effort into your work because you’ve already determined it won’t accomplish anything. The unfair view will quickly become your reality

It’s entirely within our power to determine how we think about and talk about our problems. They can be a nuisance or a stepping stone. They can hold us down or lift us up.

People spend their lives waiting for the cavalry, all the while never realizing they are the cavalry. Your life is waiting on you to finally show up.

We can determine our emotions by steering our thoughts. We can shape those thoughts by being conscious of and diligent about our words and the kind of language we engage in. A lot of this will come down to your basic tolerance of your current mindset and your willingness to change it.

No matter how difficult, challenging, or pressing life’s circumstances can be, how you fundamentally relate to and engage with those circumstances will have the biggest say in how they turn out. Again, the answer is inside you rather than outside you.

How we talk, think about, and therefore perceive our surroundings is the very foundation for our reality. Create the reality you want to live in by beginning the process of having the kind of conversations, (with yourself and others), that actually shape that reality. A simple way that I re-frame my own everyday ‘problems’ is by relating to them as opportunities. They instantly become items in my life that I use to educate and expand myself. I become curious and engaged with them rather than my usual default annoyed and frustrated self!

The physiological and psychological impact of using in-the-moment, assertive language is not only powerful, it has a very real in-the-moment effect. There’s a massive difference between, ‘I am relentless’ and, ‘I will be relentless’. One of those statements intervenes in this moment of your life, the other lives more like a description of what’s to come rather than what’s here. All of this will require you to try out assertive speaking in your daily life and catch yourself when you’re using the more general narrative kind of speaking

There is no greater knowledge than the knowledge you have verified for yourself, in your own experience.

Stop blaming luck. Stop blaming other people. Stop pointing to outside influences or circumstances

'If you’re not willing to take the actions to change your situation – in other words, if you’re willing to put up with your situation – then whether you like it or not, that is the life you have chosen.

The true measure of who you are won’t be found in your circumstances but rather the way in which you respond to them.

You must first accept that while there are things have happened in your life that you had no say in, you are 100% responsible for what you do with your life in the aftermath of those events. Always, every time, no excuses.

willingness is missing in your life. Not some wispy,sheepish willingness but rather a bold willingness, the kind of willing state where you are ready for what’s next and ready to act on it. Willingness to change, willingness to let go, willingness to accept. Real, magical, inspired willingness.

Either you control your destiny, or your destiny will control you. Life won’t stop for your pauses and procrastinations. It won’t stop for your confusion or fear. It will continue right along without you. Whether you play an active part or not, the show will go on.

Are you willing to stop living the life you have and start living the life you’re after? It ALL begins with the emergence of willingness, that liquid,constantly expanding and contracting state where life springs and cedes—and all of it is within you at the flick of a linguistic switch

We often view ourselves as procrastinators or lazy or unmotivated. When in reality, we’re simply unwilling. We put things off or avoid them completely because we tell ourselves we just don’t want to do it or that we can’t do it.

Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great

It does not matter what you’re facing in life, which obstacle you’re trying to overcome – if you are willing to generate that state of willingness, that’s your doorway to making the effort, taking the steps, dealing with the setbacks, and ultimately creating the progress and change in your life that you’re seeking.That’s why such a simple statement – ‘I am willing’ – is so profound. You become enlivened and empowered by its promise, open to its allure. I ask again: are you willing?

Are you willing to find a new job? Yes. ‘I am willing.’ Are you willing to stay in a job you hate? No. ‘I am unwilling’.Both assertions can be just as effective. It’s up to you to determine which one fits your persona and situation. Which one 'does it' for you?

'If you really want those things [nice car, clothes, body etc], then go get them! Begin today, lay out your strategy, deal with your reality and, most importantly, take the actions required and take them often! But if you’re not willing to work an extra 10 or 20 hours a week just to drive to work in a BMW instead of a Honda, give up the complete waste of precious headspace to yearn for it. Stop pretending to yourself. Deal with your unwillingness to take on the kind of actions accomplishing those things would require and accept that you have been bullshitting yourself. You’ll have a lot more capacity for loving the life you actually do have and create some room to begin striving for the things you actually want in life.

Most of the time, the task we’re actually facing is a lot simpler than we think it is. The problem is, we usually don’t take the time to really look at it. Some of the things we face certainly can be challenging, but at the same time what’s on the other side of those challenges is a life of our dreams.

Ask yourself ‘am I willing?’ over and over until you can hear it, first thing in the morning, last thing at night, while you’re driving, while in the shower, ‘Am I willing?’ Ask, ask, ask until a resounding YES echoes through your consciousness. I AM WILLING! I ask you again, ‘Are you willing?’

Our thoughts are so powerful that they are constantly pushing you toward your goals, even when you don’t realize what those goals actually are! Your brain is wired to win

The path you follow through life is the one dictated by your deepest, most inconspicuous thoughts. Your brain is constantly pushing you along that path,whether it’s the one you would consciously choose to take or not.

Believe it or not, it’s not necessarily any harder to make $60k than it is $30k.You may think it is, but that’s not an absolute

If you’re struggling to get work done, perhaps you believe that you’re incapable or lazy. You prove that idea every single time you pause or procrastinate. You’re proving to yourself and others that you really are that person.'

The Stoic philosopher Seneca once said, ‘It is the power of the mind to be unconquerable’. Right now, your mind is unconquerable when it comes to proving that you’re not worthy of love, that you’re lazy, or that you’ll always be out of shape or never have any money.But if we change our thinking a little, we can use our mind’s unconquerable nature to act on all the positive goals and dreams we hold for ourselves. We are wired to win – we just have to point ourselves in the right direction so we can win at something we consciously choose

We are wired to win. You are wired to win. Define your game, embrace the challenge and strive to understand yourself in deeper and more meaningful ways

We only see the highlight reels of others’ lives while being continually reminded of our own behind the scenes.

Get connected to your reality, your real life instead of your emotionally soaked self-talk narrative about your life.

The future can have truly great things in store for you

Your boat hasn’t and won’t sink so easily. There may be some waves, you might go through some storms, and you’ll probably end up seasick from time to time,but your journey across that ocean we call life will continue

You can handle this. It’s not going to kill you. Your life isn’t over. You’ve got plenty more left in the tank. Plenty.

Our aversion to risk, which was once necessary, no longer is. Those same survival instincts that once kept us alive can now be the very thing that keeps us from actually living

Missing the target isn’t the worst thing you can do. Not taking the shot is.