You’re Not Listening

Lesson 1. Introduction

Even though it is very rare, we always realise when someone listens to us genuinely. We    understand when someone is interested in what we have to say. When someone listens intently to what you talk about, what you are interested in, you develop a deep bond with them. It may be someone you have known for years or someone you have randomly bumped into. When you listen, you form special bonds. In the era of social media and fast communication, coupled with our busy lives, even something as simple as lending an ear becomes an important art that is becoming less and less popular with each passing day. 

This is exactly what should inspire us to listen well, to stand apart from the crowd, to make our own mark. Kate Murphy observes the way in which most successful listeners function, and provides us a list of ways by following which we could do the same.

Listening properly will not only make us more likeable to the people around us but also helps us develop personally.

Lesson 2. Listening intently is a rare quality

Listening is not something most people find interesting nowadays. On the contrary,  people enjoy talking and advertising themselves. Most of us think that talking about ourselves will make others like us. We learn the skills of public speaking and how to be a good orator, we post our thoughts constantly on social media and of course we text and chat on our phones.But, do you remember the last time you actually heard someone out intently or when  someone showed genuine interest in what you were talking about?

It is paradoxical that as communication becomes easier through new inventions and technologies that connect us to the world, we feel more and more lonely. With communication becoming increasingly digital, we are losing personal touch and feel more connected to our phones and computers instead of people. This makes communication simpler and yet makes us lose the personal touch and leaves us feeling lonely.

People no more care about what we desire and nor are they interested. This has led to a decrease in our average attention span over the years. An analysis by Microsoft shows that our attention span has decreased from being twelve seconds in 2000 to being only eight seconds now. According to this data, even a goldfish has an attention span which is better than ours. 

What and who do we blame for this? It is the gadgets that we are constantly surrounded with, that is the reason behind this dependence. We are surrounded by