Games People Play

Lesson 1. The Three Ego States.

There exists a chain of recurring behavioural patterns in the universal chaos of general human behaviour. 

Berne identifies three "ego states" from which people choose to interact with each other - the Parent, the Adult, and the Child. 

It mostly depends on our past and present experiences, which ego state we choose to act from at our convenience. 

It is a known fact that a Child grows up imitating his or her Parents. We generally tend to normalise the things which are not normal because we have watched our parents doing it while growing up. The Parent state is not necessarily negative. It should be seen as an unconscious imitation of the parents. 

The Adult ego state adds rationality to our lives. It is necessary for survival. The Adult ego state allows us to act on our present and helps us to face problems with logical thinking. It emerges when you try to get to the roots of problems instead of jumping to the conclusions. 

And the Child ego state is nothing but unleashing of our inner child. Our emotions have originated from this ego state. And our creativity and imagination are at their peak when we are acting from this ego state. As we grow up the Child gets buried underneath the other two ego states. 

Lesson 2.   The Predictability.

According to Berne, the game is an ongoing series of transactions with a hidden motif and hope of a well-defined predictable outcome. 

The better comprehending of ego states helps us to understand the various kinds of games people play.

Every person is playing a game whether they are aware of it or not. People act from one particular ego state while interacting.

Consider this for an example: when a teacher is interacting with his student, he is acting as the Parent, guiding the student with his wisdom for the student's benefit. And the student is acting as the Child seeking help and guidance from the teacher. 

People need not have to always be the Parent and the Child. Sometimes people communicate from the Adult state. The Parent and the Child ego states have a codependent pattern. But the Adult ego state is independent.

The interaction between a retailer and his customer is an Adult-to-Adult interaction. 

The whole series of interactions are predictable once the first transaction has been initiated. 

When we try to do something under the cloak of something else, we begin to play games. 

People do not always consciously manipulate