Lesson 1. Introduction
This 1936 classic by Dale Carnegie begins by promising its readers 8 things that this book will help them achieve, and claims that it has already helped ten million readers in thirty-six languages achieve the same:
- Get out of a mental rut, think new thoughts, acquire
new visions, discover new ambitions. - Make friends quickly and easily.
- Increase your popularity.
- Win people to your way of thinking.
- Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things done.
- Handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep relationships smooth and pleasant.
- Become a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist.
- Arouse enthusiasm among your associates.
To be popular as well as respectable is something all of us desire. In his book, Carnegie breaks down the secrets that make a person charismatic, popular and influential.
Lesson 2. Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
To be able to handle people, first we need to understand people. To be able to understand people, we need to understand why people act or react in a certain way. Instead of condemning people when they make mistakes, we need to analyse their reasons for doing so. It is much more rewarding to understand people than to criticise them. It helps us develop the virtues of kindness, tolerance and patience. It is important to understand that human beings are not machines and it is only human to make mistakes.
Principle 1: Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.
Human beings respond better to forgiveness than they do to rebuke. We learn faster when we are appreciated for good work, compared to when we are punished or reprimanded for bad work. Forgiveness kindles in us, a desire to not make the same mistake again. This comes because when you forgive a person, you give them a chance to prove themselves to you. Criticism on the other hand, is resented by us and we turn defensive. Human as we are, we are more likely to be driven by emotions like pride and ego than by logic and reasoning.
Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Health, food, sleep, money and sex is what we think most people want but this list misses out a very important thing – the desire to be appreciated. We tend to take people in our life for granted and we forget to satiate their innate desire to be appreciated. Appreciation, borne out of sincerity and love, is one
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